I fell at home. I hit my head. I suffered a concussion.
I know because, in addition to the headache, I felt nauseous for hours.
I used the after hours online self assessment tool here in Sweden. The guidance advised me to call emergency services.
So I called. The person who answered listened. She asked questions. She gave me clear guidance.
And that calmed me. I was home alone.
By morning, I woke up without the headache and without the nausea.
I also woke up with a new realization.
Other than my Swede, who is on my list?
Not my love list.
Not my social media list.
Not my “we should get coffee sometime” list.
My real list.
The people I can call when I need help.
Because connection is not only about friendship.
Sometimes connection is care.
Sometimes it is logistics.
Sometimes it is the difference between spiraling and getting steady.
Research shows that social support can help buffer the stress response. The CDC also identifies social connection as important for mental and physical health.
That matters. Especially when life gets loud. Especially when you live far from home. Especially when your support system is spread across cities, countries, time zones, and memories.
So I am organizing my list by need:
• Emergency help
• Someone who can come over
• Someone who can call emergency services with me
• Someone who can take me to a doctor
• Someone who can bring medicine or food
• Someone who can check on me by text
• Someone who can sit with me on the phone
• Someone who can pray with me
• Someone who can help with travel or translation
• Someone who can help with a business task
• Someone who can tell me the truth with care
• Someone who can make me laugh when I forget how
And here is the honest part. Some people will not belong on the list. That is useful information. The goal is not a long list. The goal is a reliable one.
A support system only works when the people on it understand the role they are being asked to play. So maybe we need to ask.
Can I call you if I need a wellness check?
Can I call you if I need help thinking clearly?
Can I call you if I need someone to stay on the phone while I steady myself?
That kind of clarity can feel awkward. It can also save energy when you are already tired.
This is part of calm. Not just breathing, journaling or just sitting still.
Calm also means knowing who you can call before the hard moment arrives. And calm means knowing how to come back to yourself when no one is immediately available.
That is why I created spaces and practices that help women feel more steady, supported, and present in real life.
This July, I am offering No Goals. Just Presence.
A gentle gathering for women who want room to pause, write, breathe, talk, and feel less alone.
We will gather online and in person in Washington, DC.
No pressure. No performance. No fixing yourself. Just presence.
Join the No Goals. Just Presence July event for women, online and in person in Washington, DC:
https://bit.ly/ngjp
Ask yourself who belongs on your real support list, and have you asked them yet? Friends, be on the lookout for a message from me!
If you’re ready to try this with guidance, join the 3-Day Release Tension When Stress Builds Up.
Each day includes movement or breath cues you can do anywhere—even in your chair.👉Start now—it’s free and powerful